Hey guys, IrishMafia here.
So, you may or may not have seen the unveiling of the Xbox One. As soon as that video came out...
...Boom went the dynamite. (See what I did there? xD)
YOU EFFIN' IDIOTS!
MICROSOFT, WHAT THE EFF HAPPENED?!
Seriously, Microsoft. You're fans had been waiting for AT LEAST three to four years for your new Xbox. Then, you DECIDE to unveil it BEFORE e3 AND WE GET THIS PIECE OF CRAP?!
Let's start with the name. Not the Xbox 720, not the Xbox Next, no. It's called the XBOX ONE. WHY? I HAVE NO EFFIN' IDEA. Why would they give it such a stupid name?! It's not like it's the FIRST XBOX THEY'VE EVER MADE!
Secondly, when you buy a game, you download it onto the system, which seems convenient enough. But if your friends want to borrow a game, THEY HAVE TO PAY A FEE. A FEE?! WHAT?!
Oh, and there's also a new Kinect. Why? I have no effing idea. Can't people just use the first Kinect? Why would you make another one? The first Kinect, as unoriginal as the concept was, (keep in mind, Sony and Microsoft were trying to copy the motion control aspect of the Wii that made it so popular) the original Kinect was fine! Although it had some REALLY crappy games... (I'm looking at you, Dragon Ball Z Kinect)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! WHY NOT IMPROVE ON THE CONSOLE MORE AN UNVEIL IT AT E3?!
I also have a few more details, given to me by VoidEnigma. Check it--
"Well, the name is One because it's supposed to be "the one device you need in your living room" or something like that. Also, you forgot to mention that the Kinect 2 is /always/ listening, and potentially always /watching/ as well. Also the One has to connect to the internet once every 24 hours or else it won't let you do anything."
WOAH THERE, BACK IT UP. Did I read that last sentence correctly?
WHAT?! IT HAS TO CONNECT TO THE INTERNET EVERY 24 HOURS, OR IT WON'T LET YOU DO ANYTHING?
That's it. Microsoft just killed themselves.
Also, I have heard of the whole 'The Kinect 2 is always watching' thing. It seems crazy, but anything is possible. Who knows, maybe Microsoft is secretly a laboratory that conducts tests on mutant animals and humans.
Seems like they would get farther in that occupation than the console wars. Or they can just stick to making computers.
If you want to contact me, my email is Hetalia777@gmail.com.
Also, make sure you check out Angry Joe's Xbox One rant. He basically talks about the things that I was talking about.
Thanks to VoidEnigma for his comment. I'm IrishMafia, and thanks for reading this very lazy rant.